I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
