Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Drunk is not a location!
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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