I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
