I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
