Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
