So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
