every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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