May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
