She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
