so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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