Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
