dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
