I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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