I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
