When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
then he tried to convert me to islam
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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