Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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