i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
