The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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