when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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