Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
