How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Randomize
