Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
When did we convert life to cartoon?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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