I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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