No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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