Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
