I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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