did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
