Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
