Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
