Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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