Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
We were destined to go to rehab together
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
