I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
