I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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