Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
