just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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