The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
