I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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