i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You need Xanax blowdarts
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
that is very illegal...i love you.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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