I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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