I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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