She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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