When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
