Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
