Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
