my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
i now understand why vodka
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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