I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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