Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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