we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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