i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Randomize
