cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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